Children are undeniably one of the greatest gifts from God, and being addressed as ‘mother’ or ‘father’, is something simply joyful. But it is way more joyful and in fact a privilege to be a parent – and a good parent for that matter. For there are many out there who are “mere” mothers and fathers, but not at all parents, pardon me to say.
“Mere” mothers and fathers, because they brought a human being into the world, but not parents, because they have failed to properly see to the welfare of the human being they brought into the world, sorry to say.
Parenting is a tedious task, which lasts for a lifetime. In that, it requires a great deal of time, sacrifice, effort and discipline to achieve the best results. It is much more than just bringing a human being into this world, as it is a process that involves promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood.
The life and future of a child lie in the hands of the mother and father, and that’s what makes parenting a supreme responsibility. A child is vulnerable, so when left on his own, his life and future are put at risk. Hence, the mother and father are to properly protect the life of, and groom the future of this vulnerable soul, to fulfil their parenting responsibility.
This is best done by the mother and father themselves and with the right methods and principles. It is very disheartening, but evident to say that, the mode of parenting in this era is very poor, lackadaisical and a big eyesore. I am an African, and not saying this just from the outlook of where I come from alone, but from a general outlook.
I count myself blessed and fortunate to have been brought up by responsible and caring parents, who inculcated the best discipline in me, and I am glad I can pass on these very good qualities to my children in the near future. It saddens me however that, several young people like me, are not fortunate to have good parents to instil in them what they deserve and have hence gone astray.
Several parents in this age have turned out to be a big flop, and the evidence lies in the sorts of youths we have today. Most people out there, do not understand what it means to raise or bring up a child. They are very well aware of the process involved in bringing a child into the world and are skilful at doing that. But are oblivious to the fact that after a child is born, another process takes place.
Parenting is not like a job, where you can ask a friend or a colleague to stand in for you or replace you, when you are sick or not in the mood, or where you can quit when you feel like it or when you are fed up. It is an everlasting responsibility, best fulfilled by the mother and father themselves, and should not involve any handing over or replacements. Why should you let someone raise your kid or kids? Why should someone else handle your responsibility?
In my opinion, the only instances children should be given to other people to raise or take care of, is when both mother and father are seriously sick, in jail, or worse, dead. Work and travel are completely not an excuse to stay apart from your kids and give them to someone else to take care of for you, sorry to say once again. This may sound difficult to do, but it is what is right and the truth as well. Everybody has their own character, their distinct rules and conditions and principles they live by.
So you do not know with what rules and conditions, and by what principles your kids are going to be raised under, in the hands of the person or people you place them. Many children have turned into failures and rebels because they were placed in the wrong hands. Hence, it is disastrous for parents to stay apart from their children. Parents are not supposed to be lazy, because nobody can love and treat your child right, better than you do.
In parenting, the mental, physical, emotional, social and intellectual development of the child, lies in the hands of the parents. So it is the duty of parents to instil good morals, principles and values in their children. Parents should not think their children are too “precious” to be rebuked or disciplined when they go wrong. Our world today has made child rebuke seem like a taboo. Sad! Correcting or disciplining is part of the parenting process, and should not be deemed as execution. If you always act soft on your kids, they will know nothing. Good parents teach their children to love, care, respect, be kind, be responsible and be disciplined.
Good parents are good role models that set good examples. Parents must set good examples and teach their children to follow those steps. Parenting involves control. And all parents should have control over their children. Unfortunately, children of today can boldly dictate to their parents what they think is best for them, even if it is wrong. Excessive leniency by most parents has bred so many wayward children because these parents let their children do whatever they want whenever they wanted, and they now cannot correct the situation.
Having control over your children does not mean trampling on their rights or happiness. It simply means, being able to properly monitor their affairs and exercising your authority over them to do what is right.
Parenting involves being there for your children. Children should be given support and encouragement in whatever phase or chapter of life they get in. There are many children out there who are suffering from all sorts of emotional and mental troubles silently. They cannot voice out their pain because either mom and dad are not there to listen, or mom and dad are not ready to listen.
This form of abandonment results in these children resorting to alcoholism, drug abuse or visiting the wrong people for consolation. The mental health and suicide issues among teenagers and young adults keep on increasing. The rate of alcoholism and drug abuse among these youngsters too is no different story.
Things will take a different turn if only parents arise and do what is expected of them. The influx of social media in our era has undoubtedly worsened the situation, hence it is in this era that, parenting should be taken more seriously and not the other way around.